WHAT IF?
What if the sun doesn’t shine?
I won’t lie around and whine.
I’ll spend the day with a good book
Curled up in my favorite nook.

What if someone does not like me?
I won’t hide where no one can see.
I’ll look elsewhere for a friend.
One person is not the end.

What if I can’t afford steak tonight?
I can still have a hamburger to bite.
I’ll toss a patty on the grill,
Warm a bun and eat my fill.

What if you don’t like this verse?
I could always make it worse.
I could make you want to yawn.
I could go on, and on, and on.

A GOOFY TOON
Don walked into his apartment and noticed the light blinking on his answering machine. He picked up the phone, pushed the button and listened to his friend Jim’s voice.
“Call me, Don. I’ll be at home this evening. Don’t make any plans for Saturday until we talk.”
Don returned Jim’s call. “What’s up, pal?”
“Hello, Don. I have a family reunion to go to Saturday and I would like you to come with me. I’m sorry for the late notice, but I forgot about it until my sister Connie called today to remind me.”
“Where is the reunion, Jim? I was planning to visit my parents this weekend.”
“It’s in Janesville at the Stillwater Lake Park. That’s not even twenty miles from your parent’s home in Canton. I hope you will come, as I have someone I want you to meet.”
“Not a set up with one of your old flames that burned out, I hope.”
“I don’t date my cousins, Don. This girl is perfect for you. Trust me!”
“Okay, Jim, I’ll meet you at the park on Saturday. Bye!”
“Bye, Don until Saturday. You won’t be sorry.”
Don drove up to the park Saturday morning after spending Friday night with his parents. He heard Jim call as he got out of his car. Jim was busy at one of the barbecues and waved a pair of tongs at Don motioning him over.
As Don was greeting Jim’s parents and sister, Jim approached with a beautiful girl on his arm. She had long dark brown wavy hair and sparkling eyes. A smile filled her whole face as she looked up at Don. Her bright yellow sun dress accented the brightness of the moment.
“Daisy, Jim said, meet Donald. Donald, meet Daisy. Get it! Donald and Daisy, the Disney ducks. I told you that you were perfect for each other. But Don and Daisy weren’t laughing. They were still standing there smiling at each other unaware of Jim.
“Daisy, would you like to ‘duck’ out of here and go paddle together in the lake?”
“Is that a real invitation, Don, or just a wise quack?”
“It is a real invitation. Let’s just jump in with both feet and get to know each other.”
This was the beginning of their courtship.
Soon people stopped thinking of Disney’s ducks when they were near them. Instead they marveled at the glow that emanated from this happy couple. After six months they both knew this was forever. Don proposed. “Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I’m half crazy all for the love of you. Will you marry me?”
“I will marry you under two conditions she said. We will never name any of our children any name that can be shortened to Huey, Dewy or Louie, and we will never associate with any couple named Mickey and Minnie.”
The wedding was beautiful. The colors were white and yellow and there were white and yellow daisies everywhere. Jim, the best man, told everyone at the reception how he brought Daisy and Donald together. Daisy just smiled and Don wore a ‘Goofy’ grin.
Oh yes, and they all lived happily ever after!

Life of a Paperclip

LIFE OF A PAPER CLIP

by

Gloria Hannigan

My first recollections are of nestling in a box among my 599 sibling paper clips. We are a colorful bunch, red, yellow, blue, pink, and green. Our box is situated on a shelf at Office Depot between the medium and large size paper clips, just above the post-it notes and staples. We are much prettier than our neighbors, but we try to be tolerant of their shortcomings.
One day a great turmoil occurred in our lives. Our box shook and we were standing on end as we were taken from the shelf at Office Depot and traveled by automobile to a private home where we were deposited in a desk drawer. We quickly adjusted to our new surroundings and were happy to know that we would now be put to use.
One by one my brothers and sisters went to start their livelihoods. My brother Blue became the fastener holding Mrs. Jones coupons. My sisters Pink and Yellow decorated, eight-year-old, Mary’s homework assignments. I had the most important position. I held the tickets to the games during baseball season for Mr. Jones. One day, every week, during Baseball season, I would be taken from my corner in the desk drawer and clipped to the tickets. At the ballpark, I would give up the tickets and return to Mr. Jones pocket. Mr. Jones called me his lucky green paper clip. He felt his team would lose if he didn’t have me with him.
Mr. Jones was very angry when the teams went on strike. "So much for my lucky clip", he said as he tossed me out in the parking lot of the stadium.
The rains came, the sun shone, the parking lot sweepers picked me up and deposited me in different areas. My beautiful green color soon peeled away leaving a dull gray.
After the strike was settled people came back to the parking lot once more. I became embedded in the sole of a shoe and could not get loose. I wiggled and stretched to no avail. Soon I was back in an automobile traveling to another private home. During this ride, Bill Gates saw me on the bottom of his shoe. "What have we here? He said. I have an idea."
Microsoft Word now employs me. My name is 'Clippit', and I will help you write your stories.